no alarms no surprises

with a new landslide of papers to grade, manuscript contests to send off to, & fellowship deadlines, i've been looking for music which is little more calming. this cover, one of my favorite songs in its original form, crushes me in the best way. for me, a killer cover must be executed well enough to sound like it could have been written by the covering artist. regina does this one spare. cooled down. beautiful. it's a perfect september weather song--all drizzle & chill. not so much a glooming feeling as it is a slowing down of the whole body. a heartsleep.

i promise an actual post soon, complete with wild apple polaroids. and sun. shine.

p.s. all the proceeds from purchasing this song on itunes go to doctors without borders emergency relief fund.

nova scotia dreaming

Z & i often listen to this song when we're missing nova scotia. or thinking about a slower, quieter life. plus the video is fantastic--i'm a total sucker for whimsy. this week i've been rediscovering older music in my collection & having small fits of something akin to nostalgia. for instance, this morning i drove to give my 8am lecture blasting sleater-kinney. it was better than cake for breakfast. seriously.

eating books

i don't know what has come over me these past few weeks. while it is not unusual at all for me to be reading voraciously, eating books, obessing through & through. it is unusual for me to spend all my time (and i mean every free moment) inside of pages. maybe it's something about the chill of september. about being a commuter couple. about needing to read other, more important things than those i use to prep or teach. maybe it's about remembering what language is, does, can do. i admit, i post single books in the "what i'm reading" sidebar. but the reality is, by the time i remember to change them, i've often read two or three other books. or was always reading them all at once. (for the secret record, i am too scared to post titles of super young contemporary poets i am reading, for fear they will google themselves and find the blog. i write this anonymously, as i don't always want my shoes choices up for grabs amidst my writer peers. the writing blog will come. slow. slow as an author page). today i finished this. what a whirlwinding. a life change. a sea change. a sea. i already loved her language. her world view. her microscope lens. but now, now, now. i find myself listening to the futures. to how things have been, will be, become.

language. my god, what language can do.

year of the paper

Z & i were just-moved-back-from-london poor when our one-year rolled around. so, taking into consideration that the first anniversary material is paper, we made a few explicit rules: neither of us was allowed to spend more than 5 dollars on our gifts & it had, in some way, to be homemade (i admit i broke the cost rule--Z forgave me because the expensive part was technically a preservation technique). over the course of our year in london, i saved every ticket we used to travel--into the city & out, to other countries & back, even the receipts for things like riding the thames clipper to greenwich. since every ticket is paper, and every city/travel method had a distinct color & quality, it seemed perfect for my present. with some rocktastic help from my sister & her husband, i took all the tickets & designed a sort of mosaic/quilting of our travels, pasted all of them individually onto black foam board & then put the board into a 25'' by 37'' frame (it really is a boatload of tickets!). this collecting, this papered timeline, was my way of celebrating & preserving our first year of marriage. (i particularly love the date/time stamps, saying where we were when). amidst a lot of difficult far-awayness that we felt last year, we survived! so here's to first years!

p.s. if you click on the second photo you can see details. & please excuse the terrible glare/bad photos--i swear the frame is level on the wall, i was just standing on something to take the shot!

first weeks

my first week as an adjunct professor: survived. second week: started. we spent this weekend at a wedding in ohio, so i already feel a little behind. the northeast weather is fully falling, cooler. the air smells like chilled grass, the wet peels of potatoes. a wind is constantly tangling my hair. it's a perfect kind of dreary. all this rain & a sudden urge for tights. beds. boots & hikes through slow-turning leaves, their colors flickering on like florescent bulbs. it's hard to imagine that a little over a week ago it was 98, blazing. i am dreaming of apples, cinnamon, mugs of hot drinks for warming one's hands.

{picture from our rooftop. can you believe the trees? the moody light? yes, we live in the city.}

stop. hammer time.

first morning of teaching. in fact, by the time this goes up i'll already be half way through class one (oh yes, it's sunshine classes at 8am). let's hope my day goes a little like this: unexpected hammer dance in shiny-gold hammer pants? hell. yes.

the last day of summer

dear summer,

you were much too short for me--between moving & job hunting & then scrambling to prepare a syllabus. i forgive you, of course. because there will be another one of you next year. & at that, hopefully one where Z & i are elatedly celebrating heading off to yet a new place, but this time for a more permanent time. meaning, there will be extra room for camping & bike riding & lazing about on rooftops. for letter-writing & poetry. in the end, i admit that you were a bit hot for my taste. this was a year where i was forced into shorts & a bathing suit. a little unwillingly. (though i really adore swimming, so thanks). i'll admit i'm super glad it's sleeve weather again. i love sleeves. & layerings. & not having to sweat to death every time i open a window. also, the grey skies make me feel cozy. i'm an eastcoaster, summer. & i actually like snow. don't worry though, i'm sure i'll miss you come march. but, by then, you'll already be on your way back.

love,

c

{image via slate}

horses of course

me & these pony prix tights need each other. unfortunately, i just don't know if i can pull these off as teaching attire. & teaching attire is all that's in the tiny budget these days. yesterday, while searching for my classrooms after a department meeting, someone asked me if i was a freshman. yikes! i've been trying to figure out how to feel professionally dressed while still looking like myself (not like some weirdo in business clothes). apparently, even all gussied up i look like a student when i'm lost (which is sad, again, for the pony tights & their youthfulness).* it was easier to feel like i could get away with dressy dark jeans at cornell since i was hired to teach after being a grad student there. not so much with the new job. so people--any suggestions?!

* i once jumped off a very high bridge to avoid being called a "skirt"--obviously there's nothing worse to a tomboy than being called a lady! if my fifteen-year-old self could have seen me coveting tights & with a closet-full of 50s party dresses, she would surely have fainted.